For the sake of cheapness

I love to watch cheap, lame, and poorly made old movies and television shows. I have at least ten DVDs of this stuff in my house and I'm only getting more. You might be asking, how can I enjoy watching something that I know is not worth my time?

Actually, I'm not too sure myself.

Perhaps there is something appealing about scoping out plot holes in these poorly written stories that sell for around five bucks a pop. Pitifully made special effects are always amusing as well. Or maybe these productions are entertaining because they are so poor that I don't have to think to understand it. I guess I have weird taste in entertainment, huh?

No, not really. Not if you consider some things we watch today.

For example, let's consider the production "Napoleon Dynamite". Roughly half of our generation hated it, while the other half loved the film. And while this one half of a generation is probably the only group of people that will ever like the movie, most fans had this argument for the quality of the movie.

"It's stupid, but in a funny way!"

In the world of television, we're not overflowing with quality programming either. But we watch it. Can anyone concretely argue that fear factor is a blessing in our society? That show just is crap. I'll never want to sit down and watch someone eat insects, almost get themselves killed in a car stunt, and nearly drown themselves trying to earn some easy money, but some people love it. They must love it, how else could it be on the air for so long?

Ultimately, there is always going to be someone who thinks you have bad taste in something, and vice versa. The challenge comes in understanding the different points of view and respecting them.

A post out of respect

I can't come up with anything "goofy" at the moment, since that's supposedly the only thing I can really write. I'm just posting to say I had posting in mind. That is all.

Above The Influence

What is wrong with those commercials? They're on television fairly often now, aiming to discourage viewers from taking drugs. However, these advertisements bug me to no end because they make these rediculous scripts that seem like a joke, but you know it's not a joke because it's a serious commercial against drugs.

For example, in one commercial there is a girl lying on the couch. Sarah, the girl on the couch, is deflated on the sofa and is not able to speak to the interviewer in the ad. Sarah's friend speaks for her in the commercial:

"Friend: This is the way it's been since she started smoking pot. She's all lazy and boring and... You know we used to have so much fun together.

Interviewer: And now?

(Screen opens to a wide angle of both of the friends)

Friend: This is what we do." (Taken from abovetheinfluence.com)

The deflated girl is repulsive to look at. She looks at the camera with this disturbed look in her eye that implies that life is a hopeless effort. Is this a desirable message? That people who use drugs are not human beings, but mere inconvieniances we shouldn't have to deal with?

Plus, where does the friend get off saying "oh, she's all lazy and boring since she started pot"? Sure, she might be lazy and boring, but is she doing anything to help her friend? No, she's just sitting there talking about how lame and helpless her boring friend is. Maybe I'm wrong, but shouldn't these commercials encourage drug users to drop the dope while they can, instead of sending a message that says "if you're on drugs, you're hopeless and you shouldn't even bother to quit"?

These commercials only succeed in making a person uncomfortable. I don't need to watch a commercial just to debate if my reaction to this creepy, sick joke of a public service announcement is appropriate or not. I'll always welcome the older drug commercials where they have the blanks at the end followed by "my anti drug". Those commercials offered real solutions in those little blanks. Those commercials were more than just air time spent on saying "drugs suck".

The urgent quest

"So, are we all here?"

"Yeah! We have no time to waste though, we need to go out and slay those monsters."

"Oh, hold on, where are we going?"

"Donovan needs to get things done in Borlis Pass, we can go there."

"Oh ok, I'll be back. I just need to change my character."

"Me too, this avatar won't last for long."

".........."

".........."

".........."

"/dance"

"Are we all here now?"

"Yeah! Let's get those monsters!"

"Alright!"

"Ugh! We all died!"

"I chose a bad character, I should have switched it."

"Yeah me too. Ok, back to town!"

"But we just got here!"

"I know, but we have to go back to town to cheat death and rise again."

"I'll be right back!"

"I'll be back also"

"........"

"......."

"sigh"

"/sit"

"/dance"

"I'm back! Are we all set?"

"I can't go to Borlis Pass yet. Sorry guys."

"That's ok, we'll run over there with you!"

"Can we just go and save the town already? I'm falling asleep."

"Yeah, we're going already."

"Finally! We can start this mission once and for-"

"I died."

"Me too."

"Let's go back to town."

"No, this is stupid, I'm going to bed."

Whoever said "slow and steady wins the race" never had dial up

Dial up is a pain. Granted, it can still be useful, like if you only use the connection to get papers handed into a site or to research something. However, if you are a teenager who likes being on the computer in this day and age, dial up can cause you to be left in the dust.

I can't count how many times there was some video online that everyone knew about but me just because I can't even load it in the first place. For example:

"Leeerrrooooooooooooooy Jenkins!" "Leeroy!" "Let's do this!" "Leeerroooooooy Jeennnkinsss!"

"What the %!@# are they talking about? Whatever it is, it can't be that funny" I thought to myself. It wasn't until roughly a month later when I finally saw it on a friend's computer that had the connection necessary to watch it. The video was amusing, but by the time I saw it everyone else had killed the joke just because they got to it first and had to say the punchline in every breath they took for a couple of weeks.

I'm also stubborn in that I try to play online games that my friends play at five times the speed I'm playing at on a good day. This makes every update in the game a blessing for them and a curse for the modem users.

"Ah, man, the new factions preview they updated the game with is so awesome!"

"Heh...yeah.....I liked the loading screen too....."

Imagine you're ready to play a game of soccer in gym class. Now imagine that you have to wait at least three hours longer than everyone else to play because someone decided to incorporate ninjas and creature summoners into the game. And once you finally get in the game, your team is down 7 goals to 2 and there is less than half of the game left to play.

How do I respond? I'm used to it, so I react the same way as I would if I didn't wait those three hours.

"Go team!"

Improvisation, part two

He sat backstage as he had done many times before. Stage fright stared him in the eye as it always did before. Patiently waiting for his turn to impress the audience, he acknowledged his fear without letting it take over him. In fact, he would use the feeling to push him throughout his act.

The hosts then summoned the performer onto the stage, and he knew there was no turning back. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have the time to plan his routine ahead of time. Nor did it matter that the trails of a fourteen hour school day weighed him down. His top priority at that point was to make up something to please the crowd.

“Punch left, punch right, kick, jump!” He made decisions every second while doing his best not to repeat himself too much. If he did that, the audience would know he wasn’t prepared. And yet, if he stalled for too long thinking of something different to do, the audience would know he wasn’t prepared. He only knew that whatever he did, he had to get through it no matter how tired or lost he became without a previously made plan.

After three minutes that seemed like three hours, he reached his goal with one final punch. The audience roared with approval and applause that congratulated his efforts. At this moment, he realized that it isn’t necessarily his organization or lack thereof that determined the quality of his performance. His stamina didn’t make the show either.

It’s all about the audience.

Now it's my turn to do the haiku

Ninjas are awesome
Ninjas flip out all the time
Infinitely pumped

Goofy at heart

I was thinking about what Dr Hillman said to me today about me being goofy. (For anyone who wasn't here yesterday) He commented that I should get a sense of humor about myself after reading my last entry. In the context of writing or creating stories, he is exactly right.

I thought back to a time when I took myself too seriously in the "Dole Comics" series I draw with Kyle.

Digression alert!

For those who don't know, the Dole Comics is about a group of heroes who call themselves the "doledi" that idolize Bob Dole, the world's greatest superhero and champion. The Doledi go around fighting whatever they assume is evil because they're too carefree to think about their decisions before they act on them. It's a really cheezy anime imitation that Kyle and I have grown to love over years of developing the story.

Over these years, I sometimes had inspiration to create something with a serious tone, but I had no outlet other than Dole Comics to put the inspiration to use. The result was a train wreck. I had tainted the fun of Dole Comics with embarrassingly lame and emo episodes.

The episodes I have drawn this year have all been made to amuse now that I have learned my lesson, and now I am learning the same teaching for this class. From now on I am going to try to have more fun with what I write. Because I am a doledi and a ninja first, angsty teenager second.

Feeling nostalgic

I miss when Walker: Texas Ranger was on television. Every week my dad and I would turn to CBS to watch Walker save the day again within an hour. Walker didn't always do it by himself though; he often worked with witnesses of crimes to get clues. Sometimes he had another texas ranger with him as he battled with random villians who kidnapped someone or traded illegal drugs.

However, the fact that he didn't get the job done by himself didn't cross my mind as lame, nor did I think it was particularly realistic for him to have help. Most details in television programs don't cross your mind when you're a little kid. Talented and terrible actors are all in the same group. Fight scenes where nobody ends up bleeding or broken seem as real as rain. Any script that included action scenes passed the criteria for a quality storyline.

All that really mattered to me was that while I saw every punch, jab, throw, and roundhouse kick, my dad was right there watching with me.

To this day we keep that remote control close at hand.